Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Crazy

Judging by the concerned messages I've received from family members, setting a dress on fire is not a rational thing to do.

I guess I should clarify that I did not come unhinged after a small setback.
That little charred pile is actually the end result of several days and many hours of work down the tube (sleep deprivation may have also played a small role).
Now I'm kind of feeling like I've been caught with my pants down. Whoops, I showed the world a little too much crazy. I thought about deleting the post so other folks wouldn't stumble across my little lapse, but I think it should all be here: The Good, The Bad and The Crazy.
Speaking of which, I've tried to go back to the fabric store twice and I think I have a new psychosis to explain when I pursue therapy after this little episode.
Does anyone else suffer from FabricStoreophobia? The symptoms include breaking out into a sweat, inability to make a decision, sensitivity to the antics of small children and alternating between holding back hysterical giggles and holding back tears of self-pity.

Anyone else?

No one?

Just me?
(Note to self: next time you snap your bean, don't write a blog post about it. You're scaring people.)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I Lost My Temper

We have to go to the store today so Buggy can pick out new fabric for her Easter dress. I can guarantee you it won't be JoAnn's Tutti Fruity fabric.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

How did I not see this coming?

When the zipper went in without a hitch I should have been suspicious.

When I tried binding the waist with ribbon for the first time, and it went great I should have known.

But noooo. I kept right on stitching and, for some odd reason, was surprised when I slipped my new skirt on to find this:

Maybe its not a total loss. Maybe SlimFast will see this fabulously staged and in-focus photo and offer to buy it for an ad campaign.

Wait, I don't think I've ever had a SlimFast. crap.

Monday, March 22, 2010

I'm Not Cool

Shocking, I know.
Today I'm specifically referring to Kitschy Coo's sew-along (aka The Cool Girls' Club) which I was supposed to be participating in. When she announced it I thought everyone would be working through their skirts step-by-step which would give me ample time to catch up if when I fell behind. So not the case. I was supposed to have the whole thing done by last Saturday. oops.

So last night I took the measurements needed for the skirt and made my overdue muslin from a bed sheet. It was a little snug, I had to do some serious gut-sucking to pin it shut at the zipper opening. Boooo.

Then, this afternoon, when I put it back on to take some pictures it fit nicely with a little gap at the waist even. I puzzled over this until I realized the culprit: lactose. I'm a little bit lactose intolerant. Not so much that I can't have ice cream ever; just enough that I suffer the consequences if when I do eat it. So if you suffer from the same malady, I suggest not taking your measurements after a huge bowl of ice cream. Even if you aren't lactose intolerant, I suggest not doing it because the numbers on the measuring tape will make you regret every yummy bite.

I tried to take the skirt pictures in my bathroom mirror but the lighting in there does not allow for that sort of craziness. So I took my new camera out to the front porch and tried out the timer mode.

It beeps.


I started to worry that the neighbors would call in the bomb squad. So I took the camera out back where the landscaping is so much nicer and took these somewhat blurry pictures (the camera focused on my landscaper's hard work so then the fruitcake leaping in front of the camera is out of focus).

I like the flare, I think it falls nicely from my less-than-proportionate hips:

I think I might increase the darts in the back just a little since I have a little extra room there post-ice cream. I think it will be OK since all this body measuring has inspired me to flop around in front of the TV while some skinny minx demonstrates the proper way to do Pilates:

Yes, custom made is good. I don't think I own a skirt that falls away from my junk this nicely:

Now I realize that the camera must not have been sitting on level surface.
Don't worry, my legs are both the same length.

So far I'm really liking this book: Design it Yourself Clothes by Cal Patch

Monday, March 15, 2010


This feels a little anti-climatic. After all the whining I've done it seems like I should have something a little more exciting than a picture of the thing laying on the table. But I'm coming down off a birthday cake high so you'll have to wait for a day when I'm not feeling so fat and schlumpy to see a "modeled" picture of the scarf. So here it is:

In person it is actually gorgeous (due to the yarn, not my skillz), super soft and fluid.
This stitch was so easy, I wondered why it was rated intermediate. The instructions for the wrap did include some decreasing which I totally ignored. I just cast on 37 stitches and ran with the standard instructions. Thank you Berroco.
Alicia was right, the hard won battles mean the most. I'm going to wear this thing until its 80 degrees outside. And if anyone asks me if I made my scarf, instead of demurring, I'm going to say Yes I Did!
If they ever come out of their hidey hole, I'll introduce you to the newest members of the SimpleHeart family.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

I Can Go Backwards

My latest obsession isn't crafty and it isn't going very well.
I have a new (to me) big girl camera. But no lenses yet. *sigh* So that's why I haven't been a very prolific blogger lately. It irks me to have to use the little point-and-shoot when there is an awesome camera on the shelf mocking me.
I am happy to report that my knitting is going much better. I can even go backward now!
I started on the different pattern with some success. Then, when I had enough rows done to make it a tragedy... I screwed up. So I HAD to figure out how to remove the needle, unravel my hard work and figure out how to get it back in. I'm halfway done so I should be able to show you guys in the near future.
In other news, I have my very first customer in my Etsy shop. That's REALLY exciting.
I'm working on aprons right now and a tutorial for a vintage-style apron. I have big plans and lots of good stuff coming up and, hopefully, better pictures of it all.